267. 10 Activities to Get Off Your Screens and Back to Real Life

Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Marissa: All right, Ken, I’m putting you in the hot seat.

[00:00:02] Ken: Oh gosh, we just started and you’re gonna do it already?

[00:00:05] Marissa: I know. What do you think that your average screen time was last week?

[00:00:11] Ken: Oh, do I have to admit that in real life or is this like off the record?

[00:00:16] Marissa: No, this is definitely on the record for recording.

[00:00:20] Ken: Oh, way too much.

[00:00:23] Well, I use my phone for work. So does that count?

[00:00:25] Marissa: Okay. Do we want to just do social media screen time?

[00:00:28] Ken: Can I use the same excuse that I do it for work?

[00:00:30] Marissa: No. No, you cannot. Your job does not require you to be on Instagram.

[00:00:38] Ken: I want to say maybe four hours.

[00:00:40] Marissa: Four hours total last week?

[00:00:41] Ken: Yeah. That’s being way too generous for me.

[00:00:44] Marissa: Okay. Pull it out. Let’s see. What was your, what was your actual screen time?

[00:00:49] Ken: Oh my gosh, okay. Hey, I’m 12 percent from down from last week.

[00:00:53] Marissa: Okay, that’s good.

[00:00:54] Ken: On average.

[00:00:55] Marissa: What was your daily average last week?

[00:00:58] Ken: This cannot be right. [00:01:00] My daily average was, pickups was 124 times. That cannot be right. This says 14 hours and 58 minutes for the week.

[00:01:11] Marissa: For social?

[00:01:12] Ken: For social. I’m gonna have to dig into that.

[00:01:14] Marissa: Okay, what was your just in general, your average, daily average screen time?

[00:01:19] Ken: Four hours and 27 minutes.

[00:01:21] Marissa: It’s pretty close to mine. Four hours and 38 minutes.

[00:01:23] Ken: Wow.

[00:01:24] Marissa: Yeah.

[00:01:25] Ken: In reality, like this is counting stuff like email, text messaging. CRM. Like when I’m looking at my phone.

[00:01:32] Marissa: Okay. Well, needless to say, it’s a lot more than you thought it was. Okay. That is really fair. So, note to self, this is like a good reality check for all of us. We love our phones. Like, they do a million things. But. We can obviously be on them too much, and therefore we miss out on real life. So today, in our episode, we’re going to be talking about how this might be a problem, but don’t worry, we do have a solution for you, [00:02:00] of how to really get off your screens and kind of back to reality.

[00:02:11] Ken: Welcome to another episode of Focus on This, the most productive podcast on the internet. So you can banish distractions, get the right stuff done, and finally start loving Mondays. I’m Ken Freyday here with my amazing co host, Marissa Hyatt.

[00:02:26] Marissa: Heyo! Happy Monday! Happy

[00:02:29] Ken: Monday! We’re here. We’re doing it.

[00:02:31] Marissa: Today’s episode is a little bit unusual, but before we get into it, we want to delve into why this topic is really important. Now, technology is a key part of our lives. Right. Like I’m not going to sit here and tell you to stop using technology because we all need it. I bet that you guys probably most people listening to this podcast are using their computer for work.

[00:02:53] Most days. I certainly do. A lot of us go home and at the end of the day we spend time [00:03:00] either on social media or YouTube or vegging out with some new Netflix series. Maybe you’re a video gamer. That’s not for me, but. social media or YouTube or Netflix for sure. Do you play video games, Ken?

[00:03:15] Ken: I used to play a lot of video games.

[00:03:17] Now I do not. Okay. I would say I was an addict. And if I have a video game system in my house, it’s going to be a big problem. So.

[00:03:24] Marissa: Well, good answer.

[00:03:27] Ken: Okay, Marissa, would you ever date someone who’s, uh,

[00:03:29] Marissa: No. That’s a huge turn off for me. Okay, they definitely serve their purpose. But the problem is, is that they really take us out of the real world that we were made for.

[00:03:42] Right? They take us out of our bodies, so we’re not in our bodies usually when we’re sitting on our phones looking at Instagram or playing some kind of game. Or watching a TV show, we’re not really in our bodies. And they also take us away from connecting with real people. We often [00:04:00] think, well, it’s social media or I’m playing video games with, you know, somebody else or whatever.

[00:04:05] And the truth is, it’s not real connection. It’s kind of like pseudo connection.

[00:04:10] Ken: It’s superficial or artificial. And what I have found many times, even just with like Netflix, binge watching Netflix, is that I’m just trying to escape. whatever I’m stressed out about or whatever is going on in life, I just want to leave for a moment and enter a different world.

[00:04:28] But one of the very best ways we can actually practice self care is not by escaping, but it’s by choosing activities that bring us back into our bodies and bring us back into connection and bring us back into the real world.

[00:04:40] Marissa: It’s really true. So rather than us sitting here and telling you to stop using technology, which I will say, like our team, we’ve kind of collectively maybe outside of you can, we are mostly trying to not use as much social media and it’s actually been really helpful, but

[00:04:59] Ken: yeah, [00:05:00] I’m the intermediary right now where I’m just sending all of you the memes and reels that I find.

[00:05:05] Marissa: It’s true.

[00:05:05] Ken: You can thank me later.

[00:05:07] Marissa: Yeah, but we want to invite you guys into spending time doing activities that really bring you back into that real world. So the actual term that we’re using for these practices are focal practices. They’re meaningful, they’re immersive activities that help you cultivate deeper engagement, deeper presence and connection with the world.

[00:05:30] And so in today’s episode, we are going to be talking about 10 activities to get you off of your screens and really back to real life. So Ken, do you want to start us off?

[00:05:41] Ken: Yeah, absolutely. The first one is handwrite a card. Now, here’s the reality. Everyone loves a handwritten letter or card. I’ll give you a great example.

[00:05:54] This morning, my son gave me a Valentine’s Day card. And I sent it to the, [00:06:00] the team. I’m like, look what he got me. And I’m normally not like a emotional type individual when it comes to words of affirmation. But for some reason, when he gave it to me, I almost teared up. Like, genuinely in my heart, I was like, oh my gosh, and I took a picture of it because I wanted to save it.

[00:06:16] And then my daughter was like, where are you going to save these cards? And I was like, oh, I’m going to put them by my nightstand because I just want to look at them. And it’s a way to connect with people when you’re writing them to someone and receiving them. So what is said. of sending a text to people, what if you wrote a card to them, or a letter?

[00:06:36] It could be for their birthdays, it could be a thank you, or just because! Yeah. Like, imagine if next week, you just sent a letter to your three best friends, just saying what it meant to be with them, and how your, their friendship is so great for you.

[00:06:52] Marissa: Yeah.

[00:06:52] Ken: I’m sure it would make everybody’s day.

[00:06:54] Marissa: I mean, just imagine that, like how powerful that is.

[00:06:57] I’ve had this happen a few times where I’ve received [00:07:00] letters like this that are kind of those just because, and it really does make a bigger impact when I receive that and it’s handwritten. Somebody took the time out of their day to write that and mail it to me. Versus just receiving a text. Even if I received a text, you know, with the exact same words, it’d be meaningful, but it wouldn’t be quite as meaningful as receiving that handwritten card or letter.

[00:07:24] So I love that. It’s such a great way to get back into connecting with others. Now another one that is one of my very favorites is cook or bake from scratch, ideally with friends. Okay. So obviously Y’all know this about me. I love cooking and specifically, I love sourdough. This is like my favorite thing that I do.

[00:07:47] It is so great. It’s actually I love

[00:07:49] Ken: receiving the sourdough and eating it.

[00:07:51] Marissa: I often will bring some to the office for our team. But I love it because it is such an immersive [00:08:00] experience. When I’m working with the dough, I’m like fully in that moment. It’s very sensory. It’s very kind of meditative too, which is my favorite.

[00:08:09] And I love bringing people into this, whether it’s sourdough or cooking, you know, really engages all of your senses. Just last night, actually, one of my neighbors, she wanted to take up sourdough. And so she came over last night and I gave her some of my starter. We had a whole conversation about it. I showed her how to feed her starter.

[00:08:30] And it was just a cool way to connect and bond with each other. And she just lives a few houses down from me. And I’m excited that we’re going to be able to kind of have this new place of connection. You know, another way that you can do this is by throwing a dinner party or having some of your friends over for like a little afternoon tea or drinks and appetizers or anything like that, uh, that really brings people together to cook or bake.

[00:08:58] And when you can do it [00:09:00] as a group, it is so, so meaningful.

[00:09:03] Ken: And side note, I had a friend of mine tell me that they said, uh, for millennials, their new Tamagotchi is sourdough baking.

[00:09:11] Marissa: Yes.

[00:09:11] So.

[00:09:12] Marissa: It 100%. It really is. And, uh, yeah, the struggle is real to keep it alive.

[00:09:18] Ken: To keep it alive all the time. But it’s so worth it.

[00:09:21] I enjoy the fruits of your labor.

[00:09:23] Yes. Thank you.

[00:09:24] Ken: Which leads to our, our third practice. Now, as you think about these practices, you may be wondering to yourself, like, oh, I Oh, that’s not me. I wouldn’t do that. Remember, we got 10 of them. All right. So one of them is going to hit home for you, but I would actually encourage you if you’ve never tried any of these to actually take some time and try something new.

[00:09:42] Cause the more you can escape the digital world and come back to reality. And every time I say that, I always think about the M and M song, like back to reality. Oh, there goes, but I want you to come back to reality and think about. What does it look like to really connect with the real world? So that brings us to the third point, [00:10:00] which is tend to some plants.

[00:10:02] Now, Megan, our CEO and our office manager, Anna loves plants.

[00:10:07] Yes.

[00:10:08] Ken: I am the antithesis of plants because I kill them all the time, no matter how hard I try. But Anna and Megan just gave the team a whole bunch of plants and they are dummy proof so far. So in the last two or three weeks, my plant is still alive.

[00:10:24] Here’s why this is so great. Plants teach us so much, right? It teaches us about cultivation, it teaches us about growth over time, about pruning, about being patient with something, right? Because we’re so used to everything happening so fast and instant. We don’t have control over how quickly a plant grows.

[00:10:43] All we can do is water it, feed it, right? Like that’s it, make sure it has some sunshine. We have to be patient, right? And for some people, for you, there is nothing better than putting your hands in the dirt. And I have found this to be true for my kids, for myself. Like when I [00:11:00] just start playing around with dirt with my kids or on this, in the sand, it’s like, I feel like I’m, I’m connected to something more than just the digital world.

[00:11:08] It’s like, I’m actually cultivating and building something with my bare hands. It’s pretty epic.

[00:11:12] Marissa: It really is. I love gardening. I love plants. Uh, I have a lot of plants in my house and I actually have a goal around this this year. So this is something that I’m going to be putting a lot of emphasis on in quarters two and three of this year because I’m going to be landscaping my backyard and if you’ve been listening or know me, you know that my backyard used to be really beautiful.

[00:11:37] I did a construction project on my house and unfortunately it got completely destroyed in the process. It’s very sad looking right now. There’s literally no plants. There’s no outside of just kind of weedsy grass. There’s, there’s no trees, there’s no flowers, nothing. And I really want to get back in that garden so I can spend time outside.

[00:11:58] I can get my hands in the dirt, [00:12:00] my face in the sun, and just really be present into Reality really so I’m so excited. Um, so maybe this is indoor, but maybe it’s outdoor as well Which speaking of outdoor I want to talk about number four, which is walking without a destination Now walking is one of my very favorite activities to do I love it.

[00:12:21] I actually just I’m kind of putting a little bit more emphasis on reaching a specific step goal every day for those of us that work typically at home, especially if we are working from our computers, it can be really difficult to get in a lot of steps. So I’m trying to do that. Um, our chief product officer, Joel.

[00:12:41] He is so good about walking. I don’t even know what his daily step count is, but it’s probably like 15, 000 at least. He walks all the time and he does this where he just kind of walks without a destination. And I love that idea of just kind of meandering around. You know, [00:13:00] walking is so incredibly important for our health, for our bodies, you know, it helps our heart, our muscles, our joints, our metabolism, and our nervous system.

[00:13:11] And that’s like just for starters. So it’s so important for our brain function, increasing longevity, but just walking mindfully, being aware of where you are. This is so funny because I love walking, but I often walk with headphones in, you know, like I typically listening

[00:13:28] Ken: to something.

[00:13:29] Marissa: Yeah. I’m listening to an audio book or a podcast or maybe a really good playlist.

[00:13:34] And it’s rare that I go and walk without, you know, some kind of digital input that’s happening. And the other day I was trying to get my steps in and in between meetings, it happened to be a beautiful day and I had about 15 minutes. And so I was like, all right, I’m just going to go walk around the block a few times and try to get in as many steps as I can in about 15 minutes.

[00:13:54] So I was trying to do this quick cause it was in between meetings. So I just threw my tennis shoes on and went out the door. Well I forgot [00:14:00] my headphones and I was kind of like halfway down my block when I realized it, and I had this moment of should I go back and get my headphones? And I was like, no, just keep walking.

[00:14:09] Just like, notice what you notice. And it was so much more relaxing. It was really interesting to see how much that kind of reset my energy, my focus for the rest of the day. So that by the time that I came back to my house for that next meeting, I was like totally refreshed in a different way than I think I would have been had I actually had input happening in my ears.

[00:14:33] So definitely if you can get outside, walk. And ideally walk without a destination. Just go out, explore, walk around and notice where you are. That’s one of the best ways to have kind of a mindful walking practice is just to look around and see what you can notice, whether it’s the birds or the various trees or the different noises or houses or whatever you’ve got around buildings around you, [00:15:00] just see what you notice.

[00:15:01] Ken: Yeah, you know, the past week or two, I’ve had to move a lot of stuff around my house because we were recarpeting, uh, several rooms. And typically I always have headphones on, uh, because I just want to distract myself, you know, while I’m doing something. And for the last week and a half, for some reason I didn’t do it.

[00:15:18] Maybe it’s because I was also taking care of kids at the same time. I don’t know what it was, but one thing I realized was I was so much more aware of the thoughts. That I was having and why I was having them. And I was actually able to process stuff more clearly because I wasn’t getting all that input.

[00:15:36] So I actually encourage you guys said for a lot of you, you’re always listening to something like, just turn all that noise off just for a second and sometimes walk by yourself or sometimes just chill or whatever it is, just be in silence, which leads us to the fifth. One is play an instrument. I know that’s a little opposite.

[00:15:57] We’re just talking about silence, but just play an [00:16:00] instrument, do something with your hands. Right. And you’re not performing. You’re not trying to be the next Mozart. You’re just playing. You’re playing around, you’re practicing, you’re having fun, right? Our director of marketing was in a band once and has a goal to learn 50 new songs on the guitar.

[00:16:15] this year,

[00:16:16] right?

[00:16:16] Ken: And he’s just having fun with it. He just enjoys music and he’s actually really good. Uh, he beat me in a competition that I still hold a grudge to him till this day. And it was my first full focus competition. I didn’t realize we were going to break out like our magic tricks and band tricks.

[00:16:33] And, uh, he did anyone, but at the day, music is just so good. It’s. It’s good for our brains. It can help us process emotions. I don’t know if you guys have ever been there where you just start listening to a song or you start playing a song and you get really emotional. There are some songs that whenever they come on the radio, I just start crying.

[00:16:50] I could be in the best mood, but it just, it does something to you. So you want to just play an instrument, pick it up, right? If it’s a familiar one. Keep [00:17:00] playing it. If it’s a new one, make it a new goal for yourself, right? Because at the end of the day, you could buy one used and it’s super cheap, but the skill sets and the benefits so outweigh the cost.

[00:17:11] I would say go play an instrument. Do it today if you can.

[00:17:14] Marissa: Totally.

[00:17:26] Number six, practice disciplined movement. So when you’re thinking about disciplined movement, You know, a few that come to mind for me are things like yoga, martial arts, or specific types of dancing. And so for me, first of all, I love yoga. I do this often. Um, I, I typically try to incorporate it about once a week, and that really helps reset and, you know, improve my flexibility and all of that.

[00:17:52] But there’s a mindfulness component as part of that that is so beneficial. That really brings me back into my body. You know, you’re [00:18:00] typically within yoga, you’re moving. To the rhythm of your breath. And so there’s a lot of physical component related to your breath. I’ve talked about how several months ago I picked up salsa dancing, which is such a blast and is very disciplined movement.

[00:18:15] Like you have to be very mindful of your movement. It’s extremely Sensory, like you’re getting back into your body and there’s a lot that goes there. Now, Ken, I know that you also like discipline movement and you do jujitsu.

[00:18:32] Ken: I do. I love it because it very similar to a lot of the things that you said about yoga, about salsa, like you’re in your body, you’re recognizing it.

[00:18:39] But one of the things too, is that it’s a. Phenomenal de stressor.

[00:18:43] Yes.

[00:18:44] Ken: Because you know how it is, when you’re like driving home from work or you’re just even at home, you’re cooking or doing some things, sometimes all those intrusive thoughts come in from work. When you’re doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, like the other person’s trying to choke you out, you don’t have time to be thinking about like, Oh, I wonder what’s [00:19:00] happening at work.

[00:19:00] No, you’re just trying to like be in the moment.

[00:19:03] And

[00:19:03] Ken: it’s incredible. And it’s incredible for, for your body, right? Like I’ve gotten in one of the best shapes of my life because of it. And the community aspect, there’s such beautiful things that happen to it. So I’m always a massive proponent. One day I will convince Marissa to get on the mats.

[00:19:21] Marissa: I’m totally down to try it. And I really think here, the key point is you want something that brings you back in your body. So this could be something that you’re doing with other people. This could be something you’re doing with yourself. I would kind of add here a few other ones that might be helpful would be something like hiking.

[00:19:39] I used to back in the day, I don’t know if Can I’ve ever shared this with you, but back in high school and college, I used to be really into rock climbing. Oh,

[00:19:48] Ken: did not know that.

[00:19:49] Marissa: Similarly, when you’re on the side of a boulder and you’re trying to figure out which is your next move, you’re not thinking about anything else.

[00:19:57] And often when we can get really [00:20:00] in touch with our bodies and into physical movement like this, it allows our brains to kind of rest and we go fully into the physical. And that’s rare that we get the opportunity to do that often in our lives. So having some kind of practice related to physical movement, ideally something that’s pretty disciplined, like we talked about is so beneficial for you.

[00:20:21] Ken: Yeah. Once you start doing that, moving with your body, there’s other things to get you really focused and connected to the real world. And that leads us to number seven, which is engage in distraction free conversation. Now, Marissa, I have a confession to make.

[00:20:36] This

[00:20:37] Ken: one, when I saw this on the notes, I wanted to delete it.

[00:20:40] Because I was like, I don’t want to talk about this. Uh, because I will say quote unquote, I’m a multi tasker, or my phone is right next to me. Right? And I get so easily distracted. But when you’re listening, like, I mean, really listening, it’s such an essential part of relationships,

[00:20:57] right?

[00:20:57] Ken: Because people feel like you’re connecting, you’re [00:21:00] engaged with someone.

[00:21:02] But for me, sometimes I, and I get this, right? If my wife was listening to this right now, she’d be like, absolutely. Put your phone away. Right? Like we’ll be at the kitchen table. And sometimes my phone dings and I just. natural habit. The 153 times that I picked up my phone in that day, I’m just looking at it, right?

[00:21:17] And I’m distracted and all of a sudden what that tells the other person is whatever’s happening in my phone is more important than that conversation.

[00:21:25] Marissa: Totally.

[00:21:25] Ken: That’s my confession. I know it’s something I have to work through and constantly figuring out what can I do to put my phone away?

[00:21:31] Marissa: I think a strategy that you can try is either by your front door, Or wherever you enter into your house or in your kitchen, or maybe even in your dining room.

[00:21:42] If you’re somebody who like as a family, you sit down to dinner, put your phone literally in a basket, put it away. So you’re not tempted to keep grabbing it because you know, if your phone is sitting next to you and it continually like lights up and is saying, pick me up, pick me up, pick me up. Then [00:22:00] of course we’re going to feel that sense of.

[00:22:02] you know, that urge to grab that and look at whatever the text message or the notification is that’s coming through. And so if you’re at home, that’s a great strategy is to like, put it somewhere where it’s not even visible. You’re not even thinking about it. You’re not getting distracted by it. And similarly, if you’re out at a dinner, let’s say with your partner or with a good friend or somebody else, keep your phone in your bag or in your pocket.

[00:22:27] Like turn it on complete silence not just like vibrate or you know anything to where you’re going to continue to hear or sense that you have notifications. But just keeping it like literally out of sight out of mind can be really helpful to stay present and distraction free in your conversations. And this is something that can really not only communicate to the person we’re talking to like, hey you matter and I’m here with you.

[00:22:50] But it could it also really helps us Because often in those conversations, we are getting so much out of them. And when we can be fully present, it just, it [00:23:00] really can fill us up just for days at a time. You know, when we’re fully present in those moments.

[00:23:04] Ken: Which Marissa, as we do this, we’re active listening, right?

[00:23:08] There are great benefits, but sometimes you have to be by yourself and do stuff by yourself, which brings us to number eight. Tell us what number eight is.

[00:23:16] Marissa: Yeah. So this is to read a physical book. So. Nothing against your Kindle or audio book or whatever, you know, other form, um, that you try. There’s something about a physical book that really keeps you in the real world in a different way.

[00:23:33] It forces you to be focused. Now, several years ago, I did the 75 hard challenge and I’ve actually done it a few times. And one of the, uh, rules within that challenge, I, I, Kind of like don’t recommend people do 75 hard typically, but one of the things that was interesting is you had to read 10 pages of a personal development book every single day as part of that challenge.

[00:23:57] And he strictly states, the [00:24:00] guy who created that, that challenge, strictly states that you should not and cannot like count audio books or an e book as part of this. It has to be a physical book and his whole reasoning behind that. is because it’s all about focus. He wants you fully immersed in the book that you’re reading rather than getting distracted.

[00:24:20] And I know, like, when I listen to an audiobook, it’s usually, if I’m walking or cleaning, I’m always multi or driving, I’m multitasking, right? And I kind of catch, like, You know the gist of it, but I definitely there’s parts that I’m I miss and when I read a physical book I retain more so pick up a book grab it read it Um, i’m doing this right now with my book club and our book club Everybody reads in different formats and I always am the one with my physical book because it really helps me retain What we’re talking about so pick up a physical book and read it.

[00:24:55] Ken: Yeah now if you’re not A reader, number nine is going to be for [00:25:00] you, okay? And this is to draw or paint. Now some of you may be like, Oh my gosh, I will never draw or paint. Don’t worry if you’re not good. Just give yourself permission to experiment, right? Because what happens is when you’re creating with your hands, it gets you into your body like nothing else.

[00:25:20] Right? Because you’re, you’re crafting. It’s such a beautiful thing when you’re creating. I know, for example, I’ll just use me as an example. I’m horrible at painting and designing and creating. All right. We call her our chief crayon expert here at, uh, Focus. Julie, right? She always makes fun of whatever I design, but there’s something that when I sit down with my kids and I’m drawing with them and I’m coloring, I’m like, look what I made.

[00:25:42] Or they’re like, dad, that’s the coolest dinosaur ever. And I don’t know why, maybe it’s because my six year old is ignorant and doesn’t have any other expertise besides me, but he looks at it and he’s like, that’s the best thing. I’m like, man, as a dad, it brings me joy because I was like, I made this for him.[00:26:00]

[00:26:00] I wasn’t trying to be perfect. I was, I was just trying to have fun with him.

[00:26:03] Marissa: Yep.

[00:26:04] Ken: And I created it.

[00:26:05] Marissa: One of the easy ways that you can do this, especially if you don’t feel like you’re somebody who’s, you know, particularly artistic, is to do like paint by numbers. You can go on Etsy, for instance, or Amazon and get these kits that include all, all the things you need, uh, to do these.

[00:26:21] And it’s a great way. You get the same outlet and all the things that we’re talking about, all the benefits of this. But you don’t necessarily have to start from scratch. Um, I had a girlfriend who she gave me and one of her other girlfriends as a gift, these paint by number kits. And you know, I kind of was like, really?

[00:26:40] Okay. Like, is I’m not really like into painting. That’s not really like my thing. Well, I did it. There was like one Saturday where I don’t know, I was bored and was trying to figure out something to do. And I grabbed that out and started doing it and it was so relaxing. It really helps me get back again into the physical world.

[00:26:57] I wasn’t just. Sitting there scrolling [00:27:00] or looking at screens, watching another TV show, or looking at another Instagram post or whatever it might have been, right? Paint by numbers or, you know, they have different sketchbooks and things like that that you can do that are just really helpful and creative, but doesn’t make you start from scratch.

[00:27:16] So let’s round it out here with our last activity, which is to notice your environment. Now, this one may seem a little. This isn’t really like a activity, but it actually is. So this can be as simple as, you know, watching the clouds go by or stargazing, birdwatching, you know, this is something I have a bird feeder out of my window and.

[00:27:41] you know, it’s really fun throughout the day to just stop and watch the birds and notice what different kinds of birds are coming in and kind of how they’re interacting with, you know, each other. It’s, it’s a fun, quiet practice to do, you know, people watching.

[00:27:56] Ken: I love people watching.

[00:27:57] Marissa: Everybody loves people watching, you [00:28:00] know, that’s such a great way.

[00:28:02] You know, you can go grab a table somewhere at a coffee shop or something and just kind of noticing what’s happening around you. You know, kids do this really naturally. They’re always noticing and they’re often asking a million questions about it, but they’re always noticing kind of what’s going on around them.

[00:28:19] And as we grow up, we kind of forget this. We’re all so busy just hurrying from one moment to the next that we’re not noticing what’s going on. I went on a walk recently with my almost three year old nephew and it wasn’t very much of a walk because we were stopping about every 10 seconds as he said, Oh, look at this.

[00:28:39] You know, look at that. He calls me Riri and he’s like, Riri, look at this leaf, you know, or what’s this over here? What’s that bird? And it was like, he’s noticing every little thing that’s coming along our path. Initially, I was kind of frustrated because I’m like, I wanted to go for a walk. And here we are, we’re like barely, we’ve gotten, you know, 10 feet in [00:29:00] 10 minutes.

[00:29:01] But it really forced me to slow down and notice my environment. It brought me really back to the present. And this is really incredible. If you’re somebody who struggles with anxiety, this is something that I’ve struggled with. Um, in particular for the last year, I’ve had some pretty significant anxiety show up in my life.

[00:29:22] And one of the best ways that often therapists will help their clients deal with anxiety is through a practice called orienting. You’re kind of orienting yourself to the present moment, to where you are. And so here are some ways that you can do this, especially if you’re feeling anxious in the moment, is to look for five things that you can see, four things that you can touch, three things that you can hear.

[00:29:49] Two things that you can smell and one thing that you can taste. So just right now as you’re listening, whether you’re in your car driving or you’re cleaning your house or [00:30:00] you’re out on a walk or wherever you are, try to think about this. Look around you and what are five things that you see? You know, what are four things that you can touch right now in this moment?

[00:30:10] Maybe it’s your shirt, your hands, your hair, you know, the surface. If you’re sitting down, maybe your steering wheel or something like that. You know, what are three things that you hear? For me, I hear my heat just turned on, you know, I can hear the rattling of, uh, my vent. I hear birds outside, you know, uh, and then two things that you can smell.

[00:30:33] What are two things that you can smell? And lastly, one thing you can taste. So just noticing your environment.

[00:30:41] Ken: Yeah. As we look at all 10 of these, there’s one challenge we want to leave you with, and that’s don’t just choose what’s comfortable. Choose something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Because when you start to do that, it gets you more focused back into the real world.

[00:30:58] So, Marissa, I’m gonna, I’m gonna [00:31:00] ask you this question, and then you can ask it back to me, but, uh, what will you choose this week out of this list, just so the audience could hear that we’re also practicing this ourselves?

[00:31:09] Marissa: Yeah, I, well, I do a lot of these ordinarily, so I’m trying to think of one that I don’t do.

[00:31:14] Probably number one, I think, uh, writing a handwritten card or letter. I think I’m going to do that this week. I’m going to pick somebody who I want to just share, you know, some thoughts to and write a letter. What about you?

[00:31:28] Ken: I think number seven, because I got convicted while we were talking about it on the call or on this conversation, but engage in distraction free conversation.

[00:31:37] I think it’s something that my friends would benefit from and especially my wife and kids.

[00:31:41] Marissa: Yep. I love that. One thing too there that you can do is, let’s say you’re going to dinner with a friend, can text your wife and just say, Hey, I’m going to keep my phone away for this conversation, but I’ll check in, you know, as soon as we’re done or something like that.

[00:31:56] So especially if you have somebody who tends to need [00:32:00] you that they know, Oh, He’s putting it away. You know, he’s going to be kind of quote offline, so to speak for the next hour or whatever it is.

[00:32:08] Ken: That’s great.

[00:32:10] Marissa: So let’s recap. Let’s talk about the 10 activities that we talked about just so you can grab these before we wrap up.

[00:32:17] So first and foremost, focal practices bring us back into our body and into connection. That is why we want to start cultivating more of these in our lives. So here’s the 10 that we talked about today. So number one, Handwriting a card or a letter. Number two, cooking or baking from scratch, ideally with friends.

[00:32:39] Three, tending to plants, whether that’s indoor or outdoor. Number four, walking without a destination. Five, play an instrument. Number six, practice disciplined movement. Seven, engage in distraction free conversation. Eight, read a physical book. Nine, [00:33:00] draw or paint. And finally, ten, noticing your environment.

[00:33:04] Ken: So this week, as you think about what you want to focus on, kind of like what our podcast is called, Focus on This, we want you to experiment with finding a new way back into your body that works for you. And tell us about it in the Full Focus Planner community.

[00:33:20] Yes. Marissa

[00:33:20] Ken: and I, we’re gonna be on it, sparingly, right?

[00:33:22] We’re not gonna be increasing our phone count.

[00:33:25] Right.

[00:33:25] Ken: Or, uh, at least Marissa’s not. I’m gonna try really hard not to.

[00:33:31] Marissa: Yes. Well, we would love to hear from you guys. What kind of focal practices that you are cultivating after listening to this episode?

[00:33:43] Thanks so much for joining us on Focus on This.

[00:33:45] Ken: This is the most productive podcast on the internet. So please share with your friends and be sure to leave a review on whatever podcast platform you’re listening to. It helps us a ton. And also join the Full Focus Planner [00:34:00] community on Facebook so you can benefit from the creativity and encouragement of people chasing big goals, just like you.

[00:34:06] Marissa: And we’re going to be here next week with another great episode. We’re talking about spring cleaning your life. So get ready. It’s going to be really good.

[00:34:14] Ken: All right. Until then, stay focused.