166. When Should I Set My Daily Big 3?

Episode Transcript

Courtney Baker:
Hey guys. Today we are going to be talking about rituals and your daily big three and how they can work together. If you would like help on how to build your rituals, we have a free download for you. You can go to fullfocus.co/build-rituals to download your free build your ritual kit today. All right, Blake, you want to get into a little debate?

Blake Stratton:
I’m always up for a great debate.

Courtney Baker:
Okay, so let’s talk about when we set our daily big three. We very squarely land on the two extremes I think, unless you’ve changed it up. Have you changed…

Blake Stratton:
See, I don’t know it. It’s changed a little bit, but most often I’m setting my daily big three in the morning.

Courtney Baker:
I ideally, always set mine as part of my work day shut down at the end of my work day for the next day.

Blake Stratton:
In this episode we’re going to talk about why I’m right and Courtney is wrong. Is that the purpose of this episode?

Courtney Baker:
Actually, that’s not the purpose of this episode, but I think the point here is it really, all jokes aside, it doesn’t actually matter when you set your daily big three. It actually just matters that you set your daily big three. I don’t want to even say even if you are somebody that does it in the morning and you get to lunch and you realize like, “Oh, I didn’t set my daily big three,” that you stop then and say, “Okay, let me set my daily big three for the time I have remaining. Let me be clear on what’s the most important thing to get done.”

Blake Stratton:
You’re exactly right. It’s more important that you do it. When is the right time to be clear on your biggest priorities for the day? There’s never a bad time, but some of you listening are struggling to set it each day on a consistent basis. If that’s the case, you want to look at when you’re choosing to set it so that you can get that habit going and get in rhythm. We’re going to look at three different options for when you can set your daily big three, including your morning ritual, your workday startup ritual, and workday shutdown ritual. We will discuss some pros and cons, let you think about it, and then you can make the choice of what will work best for you.

Courtney Baker:
Welcome to another episode of Focus On This. This is the most productive podcast on the internet, so you can banish distractions, get the right stuff done and finally start loving Mondays. I’m Courtney Baker here with Blake Stratton. Okay guys I just want you to know…

Blake Stratton:
Happy Monday, Courtney.

Courtney Baker:
Happy Monday for the audio. Blake’s new dance move is just pointing at the screen and doing a little bebop.

Blake Stratton:
Well, I like to imagine I’m coming out on stage. You know the talk show host, they’re always like, they point to someone in the audience, like they know them.

Courtney Baker:
They’re like waving.

Blake Stratton:
They don’t know them.

Courtney Baker:
Like they know them really close. Yeah.

Blake Stratton:
Oh you. Stop. Right? They do one of those.

Courtney Baker:
Okay, so let’s jump right into it. What’s our first option for setting our daily big three? Let’s skip right to the best one, which is the workday shutdown ritual. I got really confused because it’s not in order in our script, but I wanted to go to the one that I did, which was the very last one.

Blake Stratton:
Okay, let’s start there. Let’s start there. The workday shutdown ritual as option number one, per the request of Courtney. We’ll save the best for last, which is mine, the workday startup. I’m just kidding. To be honest, I love setting daily big three and the workday shutdown ritual and I’ll go over some of those pros right now. I’m going to do this for you, Courtney. I’m going to make the argument for you.

Courtney Baker:
I know. I’m like, you’re going to make [inaudible 00:04:14]?

Blake Stratton:
Then, I’m going to make you argue why it’s not so great. We’re going to neutralize each other’s arguments.

Courtney Baker:
I guess see what you’re doing. I respect that move, okay?

Blake Stratton:
When we do this, we’re less likely to overestimate how much we can do because we’re tired. We are setting our daily big three for the next day after having just completed a workday. We are very familiar. The optimism I guess is dialed back to a healthy degree for what is realistic to actually get done. We’re big fans of taking risks, setting risky goals, not a big fan of setting risky big three. You should be skeptical and realistic about that because things take longer than they take. Interruptions are bound to happen.
The other big pro, and this is why I love setting a big three as a workday shutdown is that you can close those last remaining open loops. If you’re looking at your day, what got done and what’s still not done, and then looking ahead at the next week or the next few days of the week, you can answer the question, well how am I going to get this done? By setting tomorrow’s daily big three, there is a sense of I’m really able to unplug now for the evening because I’ve already determined what will the priorities be tomorrow and that whenever I’ve done this, that’s been the biggest benefit is the feeling of closure. Those open loops finally having some closure even if you didn’t get everything done that you wanted to. Is there any other pros that I’m missing here, Courtney, that you find benefit of?

Courtney Baker:
One is just you are… I find that I’m really connected to the work still for the day, and so I’m less likely to forget something the next day. I’m not having to try to remember something and get it down for the next day. I would say that’s the biggest thing is my brain is already fully… It’s like I’m not warming up for a workout. It’s like I have just done the workout. I know what it feels like, my brain, my body’s still warm from the day and can figure out what’s best for me to tackle the next day.
Okay, I’m going to go on to the cons because you are very smart in this discussion. Cons. I would say this first one is probably especially true for folks that maybe have an international team or they work in a company where there’s not really hard boundary. People work through the evening or work at night.
One of the cons is priorities might change during the evening. It’s like you wake up that next day and get to the office and realize, “Well, what I thought 12 hours ago is not actually relevant anymore.”
Another con is we might fail to review tomorrow’s big three when we get in for the day. We just start plowing into work and don’t take the time to look at what we determine was the daily big three for the day. Then, it can feel awkward to set when today’s not totally over. You’re kind of setting your daily big three, really you still got quite a bit of time left in the current day before it’s over. Those are the cons. I think those are weak cons. Really, we have a stretch for those.
Are you ready to move on to the option that neither of us do? But let’s make this a fair discussion and let’s talk about setting your daily big three as part of your morning ritual. Setting your daily big three as part of your morning ritual. I will say I believe that our CEO, Megan Hyatt Miller sets her daily big three as part of her morning ritual. Just to give some cred to this option.

Blake Stratton:
Okay, great. I’ll tread lightly when I just plow through the cons on this one.

Courtney Baker:
Yes.

Blake Stratton:
That’s what I’m understanding. I’m just kidding. What are the pros? No, I haven’t talked to Megan about this, but when you’re doing your morning ritual inherently that means my workday hasn’t begun yet. That’s how we’re distinguishing morning ritual versus workday startup ritual. Setting a daily big three in the morning before work begins, the first thing that comes to my mind is when you get into work or work mode, and I’ll admit this as someone that typically will set that big three as part of the workday startup, sometimes things come at you. Especially, if you go to a physical office, which I don’t anymore, but if you get to the office, someone comes up to you or you have a meeting first thing at the office. The morning ritual is the easiest ritual to keep consistently.
I think that’s why it gets so much love is the workday startup ritual can be hard to keep consistently depending on what your work life is like and the workday shutdown similarly. The morning ritual, you’re always going to wake up. You’re always going to wake up and usually you have enough time to brush your teeth and whatever. I think the consistency here is one of the biggest pros of being able to consistently set your daily big three because you consistently do the morning ritual.
Another pro is that because you’re not in the work environment, you might be more likely to include non-work tasks as part of your big three, which if you’ve been struggling to make time for your personal goals, that could be very valuable. Those are a couple of the pros that come to mind. I think it might feel very grounding for you as a way to start your day to feel confident or energized. I’m sure that’s a benefit as well. Courtney, what would be some of the cons?

Courtney Baker:
I would like to propose on the flip side, yes, you do always wake up, but if you are prone to oversleeping or having a young child get out of bed before they normally do, this might bid compromise.

Blake Stratton:
Ah, touche.

Courtney Baker:
Also, if you have to have a cup of coffee before your brain is really in gear, and this may not be the best time for you to set your daily big three. Also, one of the other potential cons is at this time of day you might… It’s the opposite of the workday shut down, you’re not tired, you’re fresh. You may overestimate what you can actually accomplish. Those are the things to think about when you’re considering doing your daily big three during your morning ritual.

Blake Stratton:
It brings us to our third option. Set your daily big three during your workday startup ritual. So Courtney, I know you’re a big fan of this. Tell me all the pros of setting your daily big three here.

Courtney Baker:
Let me tell you. Okay, so first you’re pretty focused to get your day started. You’re ready to go, you’re focused. It’s natural at that point in the day to consult your calendar. You will have in mind what is going to happen for the day. When you set your big three for the day, it’s more realistic. If you’re in all day meetings, you’re going to keep that in mind when you’re setting your daily big three. This also helps you switch into work mode when you sit down to set your daily big three.

Blake Stratton:
Well said Courtney. Those are some pretty compelling reasons to do that. I know we mentioned this as a con for the workday shutdown, but the biggest thing for me is that things do change not infrequently priority-wise. After I’m done with my workday and before the next workday begins. I have clients that live in different time zones. Meetings can be scheduled on my calendar and that’s a good thing in my line of work typically. That change is important. I like to know that I feel confident that this is my daily big three, but that being said, I will voice the workday…

Courtney Baker:
I would like to pose that in this debate, I didn’t get any rebuttal on mine and I see that you’ve slipped that in. I would like to take the cons here. I’m going to come strong with the cons here for workday startup ritual, okay?

Blake Stratton:
Okay.

Courtney Baker:
First of all, it might get skipped because one of the things that might have changed over the night is somebody schedules a meeting during your time block when you do your workday startup. It’s also more likely to be explicitly work focused. You are in work mode and so it’s easy to fall into the trap of just making those three things professionally driven. You also might get distracted by morning office chat. This is probably more applicable if you’re going into the office, but if you’re getting a cup of coffee, then you spend 10 minutes chatting about that really awesome show last night or that great podcast you just listened to. Then, there goes your time to set your daily big three.
All right, there you go. I mean, all joking aside, I feel like we have laid out a really strong argument for all the options.

Nick Jaworski:
Wait a minute. Wait. Why didn’t we talk about the other spot? I feel like I need to advocate for an evening ritual time. I just want to say that that’s basically…

Blake Stratton:
You’re about to advocate for setting your daily big three during your evening ritual?

Nick Jaworski:
For the next day.

Blake Stratton:
Okay, I’ve got to hear this.

Nick Jaworski:
Okay. Well it’s similar to the workday… It’s similar to the workday shutdown, except that you have actually lived the rest of your day. Now, as you get ready to go to sleep, I’ve already accounted for all the stuff that’s happened today. I’m ready for tomorrow. I sort of switch between those two, a workday shutdown and an evening ritual when I do it, depending on how busy I am. BI do find that it’s a real spot that people could use. I feel like we just needed to give voice to that idea.

Courtney Baker:
Yeah, I think that that is fair. And I certainly think if it works for you, do it. We normally don’t recommend that, but I think this is a great opportunity to have that discussion in our community. I feel like they’re probably, Nick, these folks probably still fall into that camp of, hey, at nighttime my brain is fully functioning. It takes me a while to wind down. I’m in that, my brain is toast. I can’t think work, I’m done with work. I think let’s talk about it in the community, especially if you are someone that likes to set your daily big three during the evening ritual.

Nick Jaworski:
Let’s hear it.

Blake Stratton:
Okay. I do think as an advocate for both of those, I make a practice of this and I encourage when you do a workday shutdown or evening ritual to at least consider, even if you don’t set a daily big three, what do I want to focus on tomorrow or what should my priorities be? To have some general sense of that, I do think is positive. This is my two cents.

Courtney Baker:
I do think that’s great advice.

Nick Jaworski:
All right. So today Courtney, I thought it might be fun to take a minute. I think of you as somebody who is so put together, so on top of their stuff, I’m like some sort of sludge creature crawling around.

Courtney Baker:
Not true, not true at all.

Nick Jaworski:
Just trying to make sense of the world that is too advanced to understand. I thought we might take a second to actually talk about your daily morning ritual with some specificity. Part of that is because, I don’t know if I’ve said this in the podcast, I have a little wee… A little wee baby coming. I also have a 13 year old, and so we’ve gone through a whole bunch of steps there, but now I feel like I’m in two very different worlds. You’ve had two children in the last however many years, you’ve been through however many morning rituals and so I thought maybe we could talk about that. For me.

Courtney Baker:
I love talking about this. I will say, I had a realization somewhere along the way because I think once I had small children, my thought was, “Okay, how do I sleep as late as possible and still try to get everything done kind of simultaneously?” It just didn’t work. I had this moment where it was like, this is chaos and it’s miserable. Every morning it feels like… I feel frantic trying to accomplish everything that needs to get accomplished in this time period and because really I wanted it to be the sweet time that our family got to eat breakfast.

Nick Jaworski:
I remember, I’m having very specific memories of you talking about this vision for this time. I don’t know. Did that not work out?

Courtney Baker:
Well, I had a realization that I was like, what has to be possible for the time, once my girls get up, until I leave for that to be a pleasant time? What has to be true? I was like, I have got to be totally ready for the day before they get up. Now, this is just me. To explain a little bit about my morning ritual. The goal is before 7:00 AM, when the girls get up, that I am totally ready. I say that just because with a new child, you may find yourself still trying to do the things that you normally would’ve done and just add on top of that a child in the mix. I would say just be mindful that that may not be successful or it may be just frantic. If you’re okay with frantic, that’s okay too.
We always talk about your rituals of it has to work for you. For me, I was like, I have got to be ready for the day, which meant it impacted everything about my ritual. My morning ritual, but also my evening ritual. This is why I have to go to bed at a decent time because my ritual starts at 5:00 AM to get up and work out. I know. Shed the tears.

Nick Jaworski:
When I was a teacher, when I was going into student teaching, I had a friend tell me, he goes, “You’ll adjust to getting up early. You got to be at school, but it will take you a very long time to adjust to going to bed earlier.” I still, to this day, struggle with it. So much of that is connected to when your kids go to bed and so when you and your partner or by yourself, get just a second. You’re going like, “Finally, it’s the end of the day. I have a chance to just sit in silence and stare at the wall.” It’s hard to put yourself to bed at that point, but I know that probably has to change.

Courtney Baker:
It is so true. I literally set all of our Alexas to go off to tell me to go to bed, especially during that season because you almost have to determine that you’re going to be up multiple times during the night. Just if you go into it, like “Okay, I’m going to have to wake up three times tonight, so I got to go to sleep.” If you go into it thinking that…

Nick Jaworski:
Wait, you go to bed at 9:30, 9:00?

Courtney Baker:
Yeah. Nine. I mean, I’m in bed at nine.

Nick Jaworski:
I know that Megan and Michael also do that.

Courtney Baker:
You and I are different in this way, that I’m much more of a morning person and you’re much more of a night owl, but you also have the advantage that you are a man and you probably don’t need as much time to get ready for the day.

Nick Jaworski:
I don’t even shave every day. When I meet other men who shave every day I go, “What’s that like? Isn’t that time consuming? Isn’t that hard on your skin?” You’re right. No, it does not take me very long to get ready. Let’s quickly hear what is the routine? You wake up at five?

Courtney Baker:
Yeah, so I work out. Basically, that first hour is dedicated to working out and then the second hour is all related to me getting ready for the day. It’s actually getting ready and taking a shower and getting dressed and if I want to sit and have a minute to read or sometimes I listen to a meditation app. Mine is not at this point as many morning rituals as I’ve done over the years is not as regimented as it once was. I think that’s pretty natural for folks that have done this for a long period of time. I kind of know what the blocks are and what’s available to me. If it’s a day where I’m going to have to do some front stage things and it’s going to just take me longer to get ready because your hair has to be all the things. I may not have that time to slot that in where there are other days I may be working from home and I’m throwing on joggers and a T-shirt and a hat and can slot in some other things that would be helpful that are part of my ritual repertoire.
Did I say that word right?

Nick Jaworski:
Yeah. Yeah.

Courtney Baker:
It sounded weird coming out of my mouth.

Nick Jaworski:
The central choice, which I really like as a decision, I’m not saying it’s going to happen for me, I don’t know yet, but to go, “I need to be ready before these kids need my attention.” I think it’s very common. I think by default we don’t do that. If you think through every sitcom you’ve ever seen of a family, the mornings are like, “Hey.” Mom and dad are… Someone’s making breakfast and someone’s making sure the backpack’s packed and someone… And they’re rushing the kid. It’s not quite the same. Someone’s taking a shower. I do really like that choice. I’m not under the illusion, so please don’t go on Facebook that the first five, six months are going to be anything that I can plan really. After that point, I feel like trying to get on a routine would be the win. I had to ask the best.

Courtney Baker:
Yeah, I think you almost need to treat it like your ideal week in those early months of like, “Okay, this is for my morning ritual, this would be the ideal, but I realize we are working with a very fluid situation and so it may not always be exactly like this.” I will say.
Basically, those first two hours are like mine. Then, once you cross the bridge it becomes, “Okay, how do I do the things well to support and love and be with the people that I want to spend time with before I’m leaving for the day?” That’s obviously things like making breakfast. It’s not rocket science, but you can also be really strategic about that time. I think we as a culture, are pretty intentional about dinner time. That’s a really sweet time in the moment if you’re ready and can be intentional. It’s a nice little sliver of time to be present with your family.

Nick Jaworski:
All right. Anyway, I’ll keep everybody updated as to how it goes. We’re really intentionally in these next few months, going through our processes.

Courtney Baker:
If you remember my goal right after I had my youngest, Ellis, was to create basically the rituals and how our household was going to run and get those installed those first few months after she was born. Obviously, the work you’re already doing is really helpful. I will leave you with one word of wisdom and I think this is for everyone out there to have grace with yourself because you’re going to need it.

Nick Jaworski:
Well, thanks for sharing your valuable insights.

Courtney Baker:
I don’t know if they’re really that valuable or just really fresh.
All right, I’ve got today’s tip to level up your focus. If setting the daily big three has been a struggle, try setting them at a new time today. It is an experiment and I would recommend just choose one and stick with it for a week or two, and you can always try another time to see what works best for you. If you’re not sure how to go about setting or resetting one of your daily rituals, particularly to include your daily big three, we have a free download to help you do this. You can go to fullfocus.co/build-rituals to download a build your own ritual kit. It’s a fantastic tool.

Blake Stratton:
Thanks for joining us on Focus on This.

Courtney Baker:
This is the most productive podcast on the internet, so share it with your friends. Don’t forget to join our Full Focus Planner Community to tell us who’s right on today’s episode. We’ll be back next Monday with another great episode. Until then, stay focused.

Blake Stratton:
Stay focused.
Yay. We did it.