192. How to Make New Habits Stick

Okay, Verbs. So I’m trying to get back into a groove with this habit, and I had this habit going for a good three weeks. And they say it’s only supposed to take 21 days to form a habit, so I stopped trying after 21 days and just assumed it would just continue.

It screwed things up.

But I actually got sick. When you are starting to form a habit or building a habit, and then something happens, or at least in my case, I got sick, and I was pretty sick for a week-and-a-half, and then getting back into it, I just had a really hard time getting back into it.

So here’s what I’m trying to do. I am trying to create these little short videos on YouTube, YouTube Shorts, every day. And I actually had done it every single day, posted something. Sometimes, I’ll make multiple videos in a given day, but try to post something every day, even if it’s very, very short, really simple.

And I’ve just gotten out of the habit, out of the groove. It’s like after I took it out of my normal course of my day, it’s been hard to get back into that groove, but it’s important to me, because I want to be doing more stuff that’s not about the instant return, the instant ROI in my work. So if I don’t do a video today, it doesn’t really affect anything in my world or in my business. But if I did a video every day over the course of a year, a quarter or two years, I’m going to become a much better communicator, I’m going to have a better grasp on the message or the way I can help people, I’ll have a better grasp on what my audience wants to hear, and that will be a huge lever in growing my work and having an impact. So there’s this big long-term payoff, but there’s not the short-term urgency. Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah. No, it’s like when you hit that critical mass is where you really start to feel the impact. Essentially, that’s how habits work is that day-to-day thing of hitting the gym or working out or taking a walk or doing the run, you don’t feel the immediate impact, but man, if I can do this for three months straight or consistently for three months or to a year, you start to feel and see definition in the areas where you couldn’t see it at first, but that consistency really paid off in the end.

I’m the same way. I’m trying to get back to just a more consistent eating regimen with some intermittent fasting thing that I’ve tried off and on over the last year or so, as well as just continue to get the movement piece in, regardless of what time in the morning it is. But when you start to see those increments of improvement, like you said, that makes it worth it to help keep you going and stay motivated.

There’s that initial spark of, “Hey, I’m doing something new. I’m going after this. This is fun. Or I’m seeing some results. This is kind of cool.” And then there’s the boredom stage, or the not, what’s the word, the novelty where wears off after a little.

The messy middle? The novelty, that’s great.

Yeah, the messy middle, as we say. The novelty wears off, but you still haven’t reached the goal or the bigger outcomes. That installing a habit to become truly a habit where you don’t have to think about doing it anymore, where you haven’t reached that threshold yet. And so today, Verbs, let’s riff on this. Let’s talk about a few strategies that can encourage us, will help us as we’re on this journey, and also help you listening if you’re trying to form a new habit or trying to get that habit that you started at the beginning of the year and you want to reboot and you want to try to make it stick, listen up. We’re going to dive into it right now.

Welcome to another episode of Focus on This, the most important … Welcome to another …

Let’s be real. This is the most important part of people’s day.

Welcome to another episode of Focus On This. This is the most productive podcast on the Internet to help banish distractions, get the right stuff done, and finally start loving Mondays. I’m Verbs, here with Blake Stratton, and of course, producer Nick is once again in the house guiding us all. Happy Monday to you, gentlemen.

This is where you put the sweet audio drop, Nick. You have to have a signature.

Oh, it’s definitely the boom.

Mic will made it, or you’re Chance, the rapper, whatever. You need to have that calling card. Okay, so drop that in here. All right. I assume that you put that in post.

For sure. Happy Monday.

Does creating new lasting habits really have to be hard, or are there some shortcuts that we can actually take to make this process a little bit more easier or maybe lighten the load on it, not necessarily easier?

Sure. I think there is definitely … If we know what we’re getting into and rather than just trying to run and willpower our way through it all with brute force, I do think there’s some strategies we could discuss to make it easier. And for me personally, I’m excited to dive into this, Verbs, because I’ve got my own habits that I want to install as part of just who I am and what I do. So let’s dive into the first strategy, which is rewrite your rituals, rewrite your rituals. So Verbs, can you define some terms for us? So rituals sometimes mean different things to different people. So what are we talking about when we talk about rituals?

Yeah. So rituals are basically the things that you find yourself doing every day already on a consistent basis. Those may or may not be identified as such, but things like brushing your teeth, making your coffee, taking a shower, getting dressed. These are rituals that you already have established in your life. So this process that we’re talking about today is really getting to a point where you’re identifying what those things are and then figuring out how you add or maybe adjust your routines.

So there’s a ritual that I have in the mornings. This is assuming, by the way, that I wake up on time and before my children wake me up. So there’s those days where it gets interrupted, but it’s pretty automatic. I wake up, I brush my teeth, use the bathroom, and then I’m downstairs. I usually take our trash out if our trash was full from the night previous. And then I come in, and I’ll do a little stretching, and I will, after that point, make some coffee. And little bit by little bit, I’ve added to that successfully. When I put something kind of wedge in the middle there, particularly if I put it right before the I have coffee bit, I’ve noticed that’s a great place to put a new habit. So one thing I’ve been experimenting with recently is actually this breath work thing. Have you guys heard of Wim Hof? Do you know who that is?

I have not heard of Wim Hof.

He has a whole breathing method. I’m way, way late to the party.

I didn’t know there was a party.

So I started doing this. Yeah, there’s a huge party, Verbs. You should be there too.

Phone up.

Our invite got lost in the Internet mail, but I wanted to start doing this because I noticed when I did it, I just took five minutes to do it, my level of stress just, wow, did it ever come down, and I felt really calm and really present in my day. I wanted to try it. And so I wedged it into that morning ritual, because the morning ritual, I don’t really think about brushing my teeth, I don’t think about taking out the trash. I definitely don’t think about making coffee. I could do that half-asleep, that’s for sure. But when I wedge that in there, it starts to become more automatic more easily, because it’s already within a series of things that I’m not thinking about.

So it sounds like just instead of having just an isolated habit goal, being able to fold those into a ritual routine that’s already established really helps those things kind of take concrete inside your ritual.

Absolutely.

All right. So that was strategy number one, to rewrite your rituals. Strategy number two is give yourself reminders, give yourself reminders. So in a previous episode about distractions, we talked a little bit about reminders and notifications on our phones, but this may be one of those reminders that is worth setting, because it’s relevant and attached to something you’re actually trying to accomplish. So maybe it’s an early morning workout, a walk that you’d like to take. Well, then you could utilize your reminders on your phone to help send you a notification, whether it’s 30 minutes before, 40 minutes before, whatever helps give you that little nudge so you can get in the mindset of preparing to do that.

Or there’s the practical side of doing things like laying out workout clothes on your bed the night before, so when that alarm goes off, you remove the excuse of, “Oh, well now I got to go find my socks. I got to go find my shorts. I got to find the right shirt to be able to go to the gym or be able to go to this run.” Little things like that that serve as indicators and reminders that, “All right. Here’s the next step. You’re already halfway there. Put the clothes on, head out of the door.” Blake, what kind of reminders, maybe something that you use, maybe you’ve heard other people in the clients that you work with kind of utilize this method of giving reminders to help with the initiation of the habit?

So sometimes the built-in reminders app on your phone can be helpful for this, assuming that you don’t have a ton of notification traffic. Like you just said, Verbs, if you’re getting 300 notification reminders today, that novelty or that difference and the value of that goes away. But one thing that’s really key here is just the visibility side of it, and don’t underestimate just how powerful simple physical visibility can be.

So for example, a lot of my clients want to improve their consistency in setting their big three every day. And if they’re working at an office or a desk, a simple way to do that is to, if you did a weekly preview, write your weekly big three on a sticky note and put it on your monitor, or just pull a blank sticky note, write 1, 2, 3 on it before you leave work or at some point, and just put it on top of your computer. And then before you start work, there’s just going to be this blank sticky note that’s going to jar you into going, “Oh, that’s right. I’m supposed to write my big three for the day.” Now, this isn’t going to solve all of your self-sabotage or avoidance issues, especially anything that’s deep-seated on a deeper level. But those little reminders, especially the visible physical reminders, can be very, very powerful.

And we talk about this quite a bit, especially during your Best Year Ever events, and the reminders just throughout the year, how big a deal visibility is. Whether it’s your annual goals or your quarterly goals, whatever it is, just being able to get those things in front of you really helps your motivation behind it, and it’s a good reminder, and you can get creative with it. It can be on your phone, it could be that sticky note that Blake talked about on a mirror in the bathroom or on the garage door as you’re heading out of your house for the day, but get them in front of you so you can stay on track.

So the second strategy, give yourself some reminders. Strategy number three, in the timeless words of Aziz Ansari/Tom Haverford, treat yourself.

Three words for you, treat your self.

This is much like the way I designed that breath work habit to come right before my coffee in the morning. One of the reasons that works is because coffee to me is that daily treat. If you enjoy good coffee, Verbs, I know you’ve got a Chemex cold brew, give it for the brave people that ventured onto YouTube to watch this. Let’s show them where you’re working with right there.

Yeah. So here’s the cup.

Oh, yeah.

And this is what it was poured from, so there’s a little bit left in there.

That’s biblical looking right there, that Chemex.

Shout out to Ethiopia.

That’s beautiful. Ooh, yeah. Ooh, I love an Ethiopian natural process, high altitude. All right. Let’s get back on track, everybody. I’ve got into that coffee rabbit trail.

Come back, come back.

Coffee can be that delicious treat. But what I would advise actually is maybe connecting this one with our first strategy of ritual, Verbs. So let’s say rather than adding in treats that don’t exist in your life, like, “Hey, every time I work out, I better go stop for donuts.” That’s not going to be productive per se. But let’s say, for instance, you love watching this show. You’ve got a show that you like to watch on Netflix or something.

Is there something, maybe in part of your evening routine or maybe a quick workday shutdown or something like that, where your trigger is, “Oh, right. It’s time to watch my favorite show.” You can place a habit right there, right sort of in front of that treat, and that treat that becomes this more satisfying reward, because it’s not just the break that you needed, it’s not just the coffee that you wanted, the snack or the TV show you wanted to watch or whatever, it is a symbol of you are changing your life intentionally, and that’s pretty fun. That makes the treat that much more valuable. So Verbs, what about you? Do you have any treats, or Nick, do you have any treat yourself recommendations for the people?

Well, I’m going to combine something you just said. Back in the day, I really wanted to get into Mad Men, great television show, and I was like, “Guess I’ll only watch …” I was behind, so I had a bunch of episodes. I said, “I’m only going to watch Mad Men when I’m on the elliptical.” And so that meant if I wanted to watch it, I had to get my butt on the elliptical.

Smart.

And so that really, really, that legitimately worked very, very well. So that’s another idea.

Yeah, I think the more creative, things like that, the more creative we can be with it, kind of removes that heavy lift at the front end. And that might mean asking a friend for, “Hey, creative ideas. This is what I’m trying to do. What are some ways where I can make this creative, build it into what’s already existing in my rituals, and see success and consistency come from that?”

Hey everybody, we’ve got a very special segment, because you’re stuck with me today as we talk to a very special planner user. This is Andy Bachert. Andy, how are you doing today?

Very good. Thanks for having me, Nick.

Well, I’m excited to get to talk to you about the planner, because I always love to hear how people use them, I like to hear how I’m not using it to its full potential, so it’s great. And I’ve read some of what you were talking about, and it seems like you’ve found some good use for it. So let’s talk a little bit about what you do and then maybe how you found the planner, and then we’ll jump right into what you use it for.

Yeah, sure, sure. So I’m a full-time COO of a faith-based mission organization called Friends in Action International. However, I also have my own welding and fabrication company as well.

Oh, you’re sort of like a jack of all trades.

Yeah. Well, that was my long background out of high school was in the trades, but it was actually the trades then that got me into missions using my welding and fabrication abilities all over the world that I’ve traveled. So that brought me to Friends in Action full-time in 2022.

Where did you come across the planner?

So I stumbled upon Michael Hyatt Company back in I think it was maybe 2015. I was an executive of one of the companies I worked for, and I needed something to put all of that executive management together. I’m a very organized, very scheduled person. Block scheduling was me before block scheduling was the cool thing to do. Actually, it was a Michael Hyatt thing before the cool thing it was the cool thing to do. Now everybody’s doing it. So I stumbled upon Michael Hyatt. I’m not 100% sure. I don’t know if I’d be considered a first-gen user, but I think when I first got introed to the planner, we actually got a sample PDF version. So that must be way back. It was 2014, 2015 is when I stumbled across a planner.

That’s pretty early. If you’re not technically an OG planner user, then you are in our hearts. So it counts all the same. All right. So let’s talk a little bit about you got all these hats we’ve talked about, you’ve got the business, you’re doing COO stuff. How does the planner fit into that? How has it become useful? What have you been able to accomplish that you feel like perhaps you would not have been able to otherwise?

So one of the early-on tools that I used was the Habit Tracker. I had systems in place that I thought was good to create my habits, but until I could actually use the tracker in the beginning of the planner, I was able to physically see, “Oh, yeah. I accomplished it today, and I did this today, and I did …” So it was almost like a game with my Habit Tracker. So I really loved that piece early on and the importance that you guys showed as far as creating habits and triggers as well.

Can I ask what habits have we installed, just out of curiosity?

Yeah. So morning ritual. I am religious about morning ritual since basically 2015. And also afternoon shutdown.

Yes. That’s the big reveal.

And then free review.

Yeah, that afternoon shutdown, like Workday shutdown as established here on the podcast, is my Achilles heel. I know is a lot of people’s, but it is so important to when you show up at work the next day, and you’re not just like, “What’s happening to my life?” So you’re-

I think my morning one is my most religious one. The other one, sometimes I let slide, but I really like the weekend review or the week review done as well on a Sunday night or however everybody does that. But I love looking back at my week, figuring out the wins, looking at what I didn’t do that I need to do the following week. Those are two of the aspects I really appreciate about it.

Great. Well, so let’s talk about the business real quick. How do you integrate a planner you, you’ve got leadership positions, obviously, I mean COO, and you own a business, so how do you fit the planner into, which is personal and work, into that workflow and that life?

Yeah. I would say how does an owner of a business and a COO not incorporate a planner into their executive management?

All right. That’s fair.

Because it’s really my Bible to my daily tasks, to meet my goals, whether that be on my personal business or my not-for-profit work. I have so many meetings and so many deadlines and a lot of irons in the fire that I have to have it scheduled in my week, in my month, and in my year to know that these are the blocks that I have set aside. Without it, what’s the terminology, they say without rules, we’re no better than the animals? Well, honestly, without a planner in that organization, for me, I can’t manage to the potential that I need to without it.

That’s so interesting to hear. I think oftentimes people will go, “How do I fit this in? We’ve got so many things that are online.” Now, here’s a question for you. I don’t know if we’ve ever asked this question on the show before. What do you use to write in your planner?

FriXion? Is it FriXion erasable pens?

Okay. That’s a popular one in the …

And that’s because Michael Hyatt was the one that I think recommended that, or maybe Courtney did early on or something. But yeah, the FriXion. I love them. My kids love them. But I will warn, and I’m sure that it’s been out there on your Facebook page, or you guys may have even talked about it, in the hot sun, the ink will disappear. But fear not. Put it back in the refrigerator or the freezer, and your ink will come back.

What?

Oh, yeah.

I didn’t know anything about this. That’s crazy.

Yep, absolutely. I had a sketchbook that I used for my business, not part of the planner, but just a graph sketchbook, and I did field measurements and took down a lot of notes in it. And one day, because it was in my field truck all the time, the ink was gone. So I started searching some help forums on the Internet, and sure enough, stick it in the freezer, it all came back.

That’s crazy. Wow. That’s a real tip right here for everybody. One day … I’m going to preview it right now. We’ve been talking about it for probably a year. We’re going to do a writing utensil showdown and test out a bunch of different ones. I’m a pencil user. I love my pencils, so try to make that. You’re in the middle. You’ve got a pen that erases, so maybe I can convince people to come over. Okay. Andy, what’s a favorite, we say tip or hack. That doesn’t have to necessarily be that. Really, what we’re looking for are the things that you’ve discovered along the way that have been most useful, or just anything that you’d want someone else to know about how to maximize their planner?

Yeah. I would think for new users, just try it. Don’t try to jump in, for me, at least, don’t try to jump in and do everything that’s in your planner at once. I think I went probably at least a year before I tried to attempt to incorporate everything into my quarter that’s in the planner. Don’t try to take on too much, or I think that’s a turnoff for some people. What I’ve found useful with the way the pages are set up is the biggest thing is the top three tasks, and then block scheduling. Like I said, block scheduling I think was popular with Michael Hyatt before it was the new catchphrase around everybody else now was take your daily hours and block everything that you’re going to do. Upfront, it seems silly. “Well, why am I blocking out 30 minutes to go and do this little task?” Because if you don’t, something else is going to take its place, and you’ll either forget about it or you won’t do it. I absolutely love the format of your daily pages.

Let’s say that you’re at work and somebody says, “Andy, can you do this, whatever?” Are you pretty religious about do you schedule in time for the flexibility for that? How does that look for you?

I do. I try to schedule in about 15 minutes before and after a task or a meeting, because you know something’s going to push into your schedule. Your meeting’s going to go longer. Someone’s going to be maybe a little more long-winded. So I do try to put those buffers up. And I’ve only learned that, Nick, probably in the last year or two, because I got to a point where it was like I was just meeting to meeting to meeting to meeting to meeting, and you get a zombie going from one meeting to another if you don’t just build in that little bit of silence, that little bit of breathing room between meetings. So yeah, I utilized about 15 minutes before and after.

Love that. Look at this. We’re putting our planners in the freezer, we’re putting buffers between all of our blocks. I love it. Is there anything else that we should know?

No. Again, I love the way the daily pages are, even if you only get a planner and you’re new to the planner and just use the daily pages, just to start putting your tasks down, start putting your schedule down where it’s visible in front of you. Lay down on your desk, open all day long to that page. I think start in increments. Don’t try to take on the full planner at one shot.

Now, great advice. Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that you also were a Business Accelerator client.

I was. I love Business Accelerator.

There you go. Focus on this, listeners. There you go. He loves Business Accelerator. Well, Andy, thank you so much for joining us today and sharing some of your tips. So if people want to reach out to you and find out what you’re doing, where should they go?

Yeah. I would say my passion really is the nonprofit organization I work for, so that’s Friends in Action International, fiaintl.org.

That’s great. Well, thank you so much, Andy.

All right. Thank you, Nick.

And today’s tip to level up your focus is to think who you want to be six months from now. Then identify one habit that you need to eliminate and one that can replace that habit, and find a way to work that new habit into your daily rituals. Thank you for joining us on Focus on This.

This is the most productive podcast on the Internet. That’s what people are saying. A lot of people are saying this, so share it with your friends, and don’t forget to join our Full Focus Planner community on Facebook.

We’ll be back next Monday with another great episode, but until then, stay focused.

Stay focused.